You know, I was expecting something, an act from Cas, that would redeem himself to the Winchesters. But I never expected it to be what he decided to do in the last episode. I always thought he would just “fix” Sam’s wall and it would be ok. And when he couldn’t I thought “Oh, shit, that goes Cas’ chance…” but then he sucks it all to himself. All of the pain. The torture. And it’s so much worse than with Sam because Cas doesn’t need to eat or sleep or… Satan can torture him 24/7 straight. No interludes. Nothing.

It just hit me.

What Cas did.

Is something even bigger than what Dean did by selling his soul. 

Dean went to hell and suffered for 30 years. Until he couldn’t take it anymore and broke. He took the knife and started torturing the way they did him. In a way, his pain was ceased.

But Cas’ pain never will.

He can’t take a knife against Lucifer.

He has all of eternity.

And it all consist of torture.

I just. Can’t.